Better Than Most
by XRachX
Summary: [Slash] I don't understand better than most. I am just your friend with troubles of my own. Rewrite of Forever Red. Someone struggles to understand their actions and that of those they trust.
1. Needs & Wants

**Disclaimer**: Yes, I own them. Didn't you know? Rolls eyes If I really owned them would I be writing a Disclaimer? Don't think so somehow.

**Warning**: Slash, that's boy loving boy for those of you who have stumbled in accidentally. Un-beta'd, any mistakes are my own.

**Pairings**: Take a guess

**Background**: It's a re-write of Forever Red from my own slashy opinion. Also, it can be read as a one-shot or you can continue reading it through to the end. The lyrics at beginning are by Gemma Hayes, One More For The Darkness.

**Author Notes**: This is something I've been wanting to write for a while but never got round to. It's completely different to how I set out for it to be; for the usual suspects. Ren, the inspiration, it wouldn't be written without her; Ti for the encouragement, Hana for understanding and for anyone reading. Oh, and an all new suspect who I seem to over-look but really shouldn't. Charley, a good friend, a big help, a great support and another one showing just what us Brit gals can do! Enjoy.

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"_I don't understand better than most…_

_I'm a just your friend with troubles of my own…"_

These words swam around his head as he looked out across the concrete that covered most of the ground his direct vicinity. The desert surrounding him seemed to disappear like a mirage around the man-made structure which appeared to be slowly swallowing him whole.

He felt insignificant.

All but a mere blot on the surface of a planet filled with billions of blots, all similar to him, but not even remotely alike at the same time. He'd never felt this way before. Not even in the huge metal monsters that dwarfed his tall frame, or clambering through the mountains to his home away from home as a teenager. Never once did he feel so small, so miniscule, so unimportant, so…

Insignificant…

Yet, here he was on the brink of what would undoubtedly be the most important time of his life. If he told any of the others how he felt he was assured they wouldn't understand him. None of them, not one at all. Most had been brainwashed by the romanticism and heroism of what they did, brainwashed into believing it, and the few he thought might possibly see his point; he didn't feel comfortable enough to confide in.

Trust with his life, yes. With his mental stability and emotional problems, no.

Ironic really; here he stood on the cusp of the most dangerous – and exhilarating – time of his life and all he could think about is how significant it would, undoubtedly be on the scale of things. No-one would remember his name; no-one would even know that this project had occurred – not for many, many years at least.

And still, no-one would know he was part of it, except those involved. Oddly enough, though, that didn't bother him. He wasn't in this for the adoration or the fame. He shied away from that in all reality. It wasn't what he wanted at all. He would have been happy being blissfully unaware of all this. Then again, deep in his heart, now that he knew he was glad to be in the know. It was almost as if this completed him.

Even if it did make him feel insignificant…

In a way, he revelled in that thought; that he was insignificant, that there were others who could do as well, if not better, as he. Others who hadn't faced the pain he had; others that hopefully never would. Yes, he liked being insignificant, it took away some of the pressure and scrutiny he felt he was under since his teens and the life altering decisions that had been made for him.

Not even a choice in his future, he had never truly believed in fate… until now.

He knew the inevitable was coming. One look into his companions eyes and he would become significant again. He would become the person he'd spent so many tiring hours attempting to escape; the leader, the brain, the strategist, the hero… the veteran.

That final label made him feel old. No, he already felt old, older than he was, certainly. He was running out of energy, doubting how much longer he could do this. How much longer he could keep fighting the good fight. Did that mean he would fall to temptation and revert right back to the beginning, or simply give up the fight all together, on neither side?

Part of him hoped, prayed for the latter but he knew it wouldn't happen. Not now, not ever. Not as long as he knew, not as long as he had breath in his body to fight against it. Literally, he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and he doubted he could ever relieve that burden onto someone else. He couldn't, he wouldn't and he wasn't sure that, given the option, he'd want to. It seemed so familiar now; he'd feel lacking in purpose without it. After all, without it, it made him more than insignificant. It made him purposeless. Useless.

He wondered if maybe he could share that burden. However, it appeared that the one person he could ever consider unloading this on wasn't going to be there. That shocked him more than anything. This was the one person out there he knew more dedicated to this cause than he. The man may never have been involved as long but he'd given just as much, probably more, than anyone else. It made no sense that he wouldn't show but perfect sense too.

"Doesn't look like he's coming."

He turned to his right, in the direction the voice that broke through his thoughts came from.

"I know, I just thought he'd show, is all."

The silent "needed him to show" went unsaid but was felt all the same.

"The tech crew wants us to leave now," Came a soft, yet curt, voice from further behind the first speaker that almost made the man jump. He hadn't expected the broody, Asian man to speak unless absolutely necessary. He must have deemed this a necessary comment, the man mused.

At the sound of the voice he began to study the man closer before giving a small nod. His voice, his eyes all seemed familiar. They all held that same mist of someone who had seen and heard too much in his life time to get caught up in romanticism. Someone who had seen more than any man, especially one so young, should ever see. And that was startling and scary and yet, somehow, comforting all the same because he'd seen that same look reflected in his own mirror. He'd seen that same look in the eyes of the man he was waiting for.

He didn't understand why he so desperately wanted this man around, but then again, he didn't understand better than most. Simply because he understood it all too clearly without understanding at all; maybe the other had managed to shed himself of the responsibility he felt obliged to carry. Maybe, finally, one of them had been able to get rid of their problem and start having troubles of their own. Maybe.

As he began to walk back inside, away from hope, away from second chances, away from his chance of safety he heard an exuberant cry of, "Wait, what's that?"

Turning sharply he lifted a hand to his forehead and shielded his glass covered eyes from the sun. He hated that about wearing them, they always seemed to intensify the sun's gaze if he ever locked with it. It was one of those small irritations that made him feel old and insignificant once again, whilst reminding him of a time when he'd felt like one of the most important people to ever live.

His heart began to race a little as he hoped that his desires weren't premature. It had to be him, it just had to be. No-one else had that quality of perfect timing.

Besides, he needed this man so badly it just had to be him. He'd understand how much he needed his support that he'd come to save him from drowning in himself. This was the man who taught him everything he knew about being himself, or at least being the persona people perceived him to be. This was also the only man who had ever seen behind that, who had ever seen the raw, vulnerable emotion that he held behind the mask. All because he helped secure the mask, along with his own, and it felt natural that they be the only one to see each other without them. The only ones that either trusted with their entire being.

It just had to be him.

As the motorcycle pulled to a stop a few feet away he forced himself to ease. It was him; he could tell from the posture, the aura, a gut instinct almost, that told him it'd all be okay now. Yet he forced himself to ease because here he was, a few measly feet from a man he considered an idol yet only a simple peer and he was acting like a nervous child in a dentist office. Nervous at the prospect but excited by the adrenaline the nervousness caused to course though his veins.

With a slow deep breath he allowed a smile, a genuine, warm smile, to play across his face as the rider released the clasp from his helmet, now stood directly in front of him. His smile grew wider when a matching one was revealed once the helmet was safely tucked under an arm.

"And I thought I was supposed to be the late one." The playful banter was typical of the two and he amazed himself at how easily he fell back into that kind of relationship after years apart.

"Haven't left, still here, aren't you? Therefore, I'm not late." A smug smirk flittered across the face of the latest arrival, as the opposing man drank in the sight before him. It was a long time since he'd seen the person stood before him and the safety felt in his presence, his simple being, made all the difference that the man just had to look.

"Good to see you, Bro." He said with a small smile as he reached in instinctively for their typical, one-armed, brotherly bear-hug.

"Good to see you too, Tommy," Jason muttered into the embrace, just glad to be back to doing what he felt he needed to, and having the one person he needed right by his side whilst doing it.

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Yep, I'm obvious but what else did you expect from me? So, tell me what you think. There are two extra parts written to this which will be posted but as earlier stated, thsi canbe read alone. So, you know what to do - hit the button!


	2. Review & Reflect

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't sue. If I did open, I doubt it would be classed as children's show. Also, there'd be a distinct lack of monsters to keep them busy. So yeah, definitely not mine. A girl can dream though.

A.N: Thanks to everyone for the brilliant feedback I got from part one. I actually didn't expect it. It's nice to get such positive reviews and it certainly helped me through my stressful exam period. I only have one exam left then no reason not to write/update. Well… actually there is a very good reason for me not updating after that point but she'll probably push me into writing anyway!

So, this is the second of three chapters, still unbeta'd. Although, there may be an epilogue. I just can't seem to finish things! On the note of my inability to finish things, the last chapter of Cabin Fever should be done some time today. Addition: It is done, it's complete - this was supposed to be updated first. Also, I have new Beta's but this hasn't been sent to them.

Final note, my pen name may be changing slightly. I despise it, but it's my own fault for not setting the account up myself to begin with. Anyway, whilst it won't become the pen name I use elsewhere it will be some variation of Rach. You'll know it's me though, either way. Then again, I might not.

Thanks: To everyone who reviewed. To Ren for actually writing more of this chapter than I did. She's a good little copy girl when she has the promise of smut as a bribe… even without it! Final big thanks to Charley and Carlawhoare my new beta readers. Apologies to Kris, my old beta reader, who I kept forgetting to mail stuff too – mainly because I lost her email… whoops!

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Tommy rubbed wearily at his eyes, pushing his glasses up no his face as he blinked a few times before returning his attention back to the screen in front of him. This was something he hadn't missed, that was for sure. Post-battle diagnostics. Fun for all the family, with an IQ of 400, and just plain irritating for those who didn't quite meet a Billy standard. He knew he should've gotten someone else to do them, but as the leader it was expected for him to take control. For him to know what he was doing and what needed to be done. To let the others enjoy the post battle haze of adrenaline.

He really needed to learn to delegate.

Then again, he wasn't the only one in the solitude of the side room, avoiding the raucous tales of how someone avoided that laser beam or threw this monster fifty feet over impossible.

No, he certainly wasn't alone. He had Jason.

At one time – before the mission – Tommy would have been happy to have his best friend here. However, over the course of the past few hours old angers had arisen and he wasn't sure he could deal with the original red. The constant bar he had to keep reaching. Constantly trying to make the grade set by his friend. To repent for his past mistakes and show that he was just as good.

But he wasn't just as good, was he? He was better. He was the Ultimate Ranger. He stayed on more teams than anyone else. He'd lasted long past the others. He'd fought evil again and again and kept on winning. He stuck it out for the long haul. Longer than anyone else. Especially longer than his marker.

After all, he didn't leave.

Twice.

No, Tommy wasn't bitter about that fact in the slightest. No, he was perfectly fine that his best friend had walked out on him not once, but twice. That he'd dumped the sole responsibility of an entire Ranger team in his lap. That he abandoned their close friendship – the first and only of its kind for Tommy – in search of something new, more peaceful and European.

The fact that he came back and left again didn't hurt either. Nope, no anger or resentment for Tommy. He didn't care that the one person he was closest to in the universe had upped and left after almost dying without so much as a goodbye. No, it didn't hurt Tommy in the slightest, didn't even bother him remotely. He was used to people walking out on him. First his parents. Then, slowly, his friends, one by one. Prolonging the process, drawing it out. Still, he was used to it. It didn't bother him anymore.

And Tommy had gotten much better at other things than just fighting and saving the world over the past few years of his life. Bullshitting was one of them.

It still bothered him. It still hurt. It would always hurt. But along with the fighting and bullshitting he'd learnt something else. Shielding. He'd been taught that by the person who was currently causing him to shield himself, the one and only person who could see through the defensive barriers. Oh, poetic irony.

Now, rather than allow himself to be hurt he put up a front. He stopped other's from seeing what they did to him, how they affected him. How they made him weakened and susceptible.

He isolated himself.

And Jason – along with other factors – was to blame. Unfortunately for Jason he was the only one present, so when Tommy snapped – which was inevitable – he'd bear the brunt of it all. Maybe he needed that. To see how much his disappearances hurt the slightly younger man.

But that would mean Tommy had to show him. Tommy had to let him in, let him see what went on below the surface, what damage there truly was lying under the calm façade. What annoyance, and anger, and regret, had morphed into. Tommy had to allow Jason back into the place where he had been before. The best vantage point for causing devastation to a human heart.

Too be honest though, which he rarely did with himself anymore, he wasn't sure he could be hurt any more. Maybe his heart really had grown cold, devoid of counterbalanced feeling it had just given up. Oh, on the outside he would seem his usually happy, perky, friendly self. It was amazing what kind of masks he could erect. Who needed stage makeup when you were perfected in the art of acting?

"So, Bro," Jason opened, putting the last of his readings down and coming to sit, one hip propped up on the desk by Tommy, "How have things really been?"

"Fine!" Tommy snapped, "I already told you."

Jason just shook his head slowly. "Bullshit. We both know that. Something's wrong, or something went wrong. You've slowly gotten tenser over the entire mission. Shouldn't you be relaxing after a win like that, celebrating your success like the others?"

"As the one in charge I can't just shrug off my responsibilities and run off to play when I please, like the rest of you," Tommy told him scathingly, failing to keep the bitterness from lacing his words.

"Tom…" Jason began but was cut off abruptly.

"Just leave it, Jason, okay? Just go back to the play room with the rookies and leave me be to finish these damn post battle duties so I can actually close this chapter in my life and go back to the hotel to get some sleep!" The brunette yelled loud enough for the commotion outside the room to cease into anxious silence. All those in the adjacent room waiting with baited breath making Tommy sigh as he knew he'd crossed a big line that he couldn't, and frankly wouldn't cross back over again.

"Here we go. Tommy take a breath and center yourself and tell me what the hell is-" Once again Jason was cut off.

"Do not, and I repeat do not tell me what to do Jason, nor talk to me like some over emotional child." Swallowing and realizing that was in fact where he was heading with this, Tommy never the less forced himself not to back down. "Just get out. Go back to the other room, I'll call you and the others when we land and that'll be that. I don't want to talk to you right now. I don't want to share, just go; you should be good at that by now."

"What?" Growing a bit upset at the last line, Jason narrowed his eyes. "What exactly does that mean?"

"Oh please." Shaking his head, Tommy took a heavy breath. "Just get out of here and go, before I say something I'll seriously regret." 'Not that I'm not already regretting half of what spewed from my mouth in the last two minutes', Tommy though bitterly to himself.

"No." He answered, matter-of-factly, "Not until you tell me what your problem is and what you were getting at with that little snippy remark."

"Do you seriously need me to draw you a picture Jason? How many times have you just shown up only to walk back out of my…all your friends' lives! God it must be so easy for you huh? No seeing the people you leave behind? No having to clean up your own messes? Just come back when everything is finally getting back to normal, uproot it all and then take off again. Never saw the backlash you leaving did, left all that for me to deal with. Well I don't need it a third time Jason, you hear me. I have a life, one without you, and I'll be damned if I let you make me fall into some best buddy crap again and then walk out….god damn you, just go." Growling at his own ramblings and turning back to the computer, Tommy shook his head more at himself then the original Ranger.

Taking a few moments to absorb what his one time best friend had ranted; Jason slowly stood up and cleared his throat. "So that what's this is about. Can't say I'm too shocked, I mean you've keep this unsaid for how many years, I guess it was naïve to think you'd just let it all go. Tommy I'm sorry for what I did, for leaving the team, Angel Grove, you, but I can't change the past. If this is what you're getting worked up over all I can say is I'm sorry. There's nothing else I can do Tommy. I made some selfish choices in my life, but it is my life and they were my choices to make. Just like coming here and helping you all was my choice."

"Why the hell did you come here? If you knew…you know what, no, I don't care, I really don't." He answered venomously.

"Because I messed up," Jason told him, "I messed up big time and I thought it was finally time try and make up for at least in some aspect. If it was something as simple as feeling I was needed then no I probably wouldn't have come. You're a good Ranger Tom, you could have handled this mission without me but I thought maybe…I don't know, maybe we'd be okay and maybe I could make up for leaving like I had before. Just like you after Rita."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Growing more and more angry by how calmly Jason was handling his outrage; Tommy was verging on a full blown brawl with the original Red Ranger if he didn't start over reacting at least a little

Running a hand through his hair Jason sighed, knowing he was about to cross a line of his own but Tommy really wasn't leaving him much choice in the matter. "Tommy come on, we all knew. The only reason you pushed yourself so hard back then, worked yourself into such exhaustion, became this ultimate Ranger you seemed to think we all wanted you to be was because of your time under Rita's spell. You thought that you had some huge debt to us, that you needed to prove yourself time and time again so you could apologize for something you couldn't control. Tommy none of us ever asked or expected you to do that. If anything we tried time and time again to stop it and make you see you didn't have to bear that burden alone. You didn't have to prove yourself to anyone but you. It's the same thing in its own right Tom. I felt I had to correct what I'd done by-"

"No!" Cutting him off and standing abruptly from his chair, Tommy was not about to let this be turned around on himself. No way, no how. "It is not the same! I didn't leave; I'm never the one that leaves! You left everyone! Kim, Trini, Billy, Zack and all the others. You affected all of them by walking in and out of their lives with barely a word in recognition before walking back out!"

Swallowing hard and reaching out to lay a soothing hand on his arm, Jason took a step back in the end at the glare his friend was shooting him. "Tommy, you named off everyone but yourself, bro. Is this really about them, or is it more about something between you and me?"

Snarling and for the first time in years feeling the rage associated with his evil days pick at the corners of his nerves, Tommy had clearly had enough of Jason's too calm and logical response. "You want to know how you affected me? Fine. You saunter in, mess with everyone's hearts then leave me to pick up the fricken' pieces when you disappear again. You're a selfish, manipulative jerk who leaves when the going gets to rough or too serious no matter who it affects or hurts. Get out of here Jason. Get out now before I completely loose it and beat you into the ground."

Closing his mouth on any response he had left, Jason swallowed hard as he could practically feel the hurt and rage coming off the Red Zeo Ranger. Not even about to reply with 'when have you ever been able to do that' Jason shook his head before turning to go. He couldn't solve this now. Tommy was too far over the edge and too hurt to listen to any explanation he could offer. He'd know this was coming, yet it was still unexpected. He felt as if he'd been living for this very moment, for years and now that it was finally here, now that he was finally faced with it, he unfortunately had to do the one thing he swore he wouldn't do again. "Alright Tom, if that's what you want."

Meanwhile, the assembled group of mismatched Red Rangers listened on in silence as the door opened and Jason exited the main control room. This had been unexpected. Sure, there had been tension running high throughout the mission between the pair, but of all the possible outcomes to said tension this was one no one had seen coming. These were the original two leaders. The two best fighters, not to mention best friends they'd ever heard of. What on earth had happened?

"Yeah go, just go like always." Sitting back down in his chair and muttering more to himself than Jason's fading form in the hall, Tommy clenched his fists tightly and willed back the pain that threatened to consume him.

Swallowing hard and looking up to see the Earth coming into view he shakily unclenched a fist to hit the intercom switch beside his keyboard. "All Rangers report to the docking bay. We'll be landing in ten minutes." Flipping the switch back off, Tommy mentally kicked himself. Ten minutes. Had he held out just ten more minutes none of it would have happened. But would he really want that? Could he have stood Jason leaving without knowing what he'd done to him?

Suddenly realizing that Jason would undoubtedly be leaving now, Tommy laid his pounding head on the control consol, practically seeing Jason walking off the ship only to climb on his bike and take off without a word. "God, what have I done?"

Even as he said it though he knew; Jason may have been to blame for a good deal of his hurt and anger, but he was now to blame for the loss of their friendship.


	3. Hurt & Comfort

Disclaimer: Well, it's not a claimer.

AN: Well, here it is, finally finished. Think of this as the extended version. It was supposed to end earlier but I decided to give you all Ren's slightly smutty version. There may be a version that goes into deeper smut detail if she can persuade me to keep writing but I doubt it. Ask if you want it, assuming I ever write it.

I haven't boosted up the rating as I don't believe it needs it but I must say this does involve men kissing so if you can't stand the heat get out of their hotel room.

Also, I am planning another story in this timeline. So keep an eye out for it.

* * *

Having returned to the hotel they were being put up in for the night the Ranger man quickly took to the bar for celebration. They were careful with their words, whilst civilians were few they couldn't risk their identities escaping. Even if Wes, Eric and Carter were publicly known.

As well as that, they were careful not to jostle or irritate neither Tommy nor Jason, each of whom was sat at opposite ends of the bar staring into the bottom of a full glass. They were brooding, that much was obvious to everyone.

When Tommy pushed up off the bar and began to stalk out without so much as a backwards glance none of the others were surprised to see Jason head off after him. Silently they wished him luck. Tommy was pissed an he had to rectify it. He needed their luck.

Up no the third floor a few moments later Jason made sure to catch Tommy's closing room door. He followed quickly and quietly, straight out onto the balcony where Tommy had headed. He had to know Jason was there, he simply chose not to acknowledge his presence as he leaned against the door jamb, just watching his friend.

"Isn't the rule three strikes and you're out?" Tommy muttered with a large lack of conviction.

"Yeah, but considering my last walk out was in response to you telling me to I figured maybe that should only count as a foul ball instead of a strike. Besides doesn't being super heroes give us immunity to such cheesy clichés?"

Suddenly laughing and shaking his head, Tommy leaned heavily on the iron rail, looking at the pool seven stories below. "Jason being a super hero has made me a living, breathing, walking, talking cliché, not the other way around." Going silent for a moment, he finally found his voice again, surprising them both when it was more then a little choked. "You keep leaving and I can't keep watching you walk out. So if you're going to do it a fourth time then please just do it while my back is turned, because if I have to see it, I don't think I can handle it again."

"That's going to make going back to my own room for the night very complicated you know." Smiling a bit as Tommy snickered at his small joke; Jason reached a hand up to place over Tommy's own clenching one on the rail. "You worried me earlier. I've never seen you get that enraged and that out of control except…"

"When I was the evil Green Ranger." Tommy finished softly. "I just…I don't know. I'm sorry I laid into you like that. I don't even think it was all about you, I just…I needed a target I guess, and you were sort of top on my list anyway."

"No kidding. Feeling a bit better now?"

"No, not really." Sighing and swallowing back the resurfacing hurt, Tommy had yet to look at Jason. "In the course of twenty four hours I've alienated nearly every Red Ranger in existence, ranted like an angry child at you, not my finest moments Jase.

"Still think the streaking incident of our junior year has today beat." Jason responded as he recalled the young White Ranger going a bit insane during his first few weeks holding the new powers. This had of course some how, some way led to him not only being as hyperactive as a gerbil on a sugar high, but also in a bit of an unrestricted frame of mind. "Have the others over, you come running into the backyard buck naked and screaming that yer lord of the universe and Zedd can kiss your tan ass."

Having the decency to blush a rather embarrassed shade of red, Tommy snorted in response. "I didn't know they were gonna be over! You could have told me that. I thought it was just gonna be you and me at your house that day."

"Kim was never quite the same after that." Jason snickered. "Man and I thought the girl followed you around like a love sick puppy before, no you gotta go giving her a preview of what was to come and couldn't pry her off you with a crowbar."

"S'not my fault I'm gifted."

Looking far too smug for Jason's liking, the taller man gave a bark of laughter. "If I recall correctly she wasn't the only one acting like a puppy with one of the team. I think I remember a certain boy in green baggy clothes who used to be quite attached to me."

"Really, I don't recall that." Looking back into the courtyard, Tommy ignored Jason's 'yeah right' look.

"Really? So you don't remember the scrappy little sixteen year old that used to constantly hang on me asking me if I thought he was improving in his fighting? Asking me for help with his homework that we both knew Billy could do much faster then me? How about curling up beside me on the couch when we had sleepovers, even though there were two recliners and the couch was big enough for four people, but no he liked to be pressed right against my side. Don't remember that huh?"

Swallowing back a lump in his throat, Tommy shook his head. "Nope."

"Hm, strange. I do." Glancing at his friend Jason decided to press just a bit more. "Know what else? I miss him. Even though I know he's grown up, gotten stronger, doesn't need me to hold him and help him fight his battles, I still miss him."

Something in the tone of Jason's voice caused Tommy to look up, "I don't know why, he wasn't all that great. Neither is the person he grew up to be."

"I wouldn't say that," Jason answered softly, placing a hand softly on Tommy's shoulder. The action was small but it was a large step forward. Tommy just smiled; hints of nostalgia clear in the air.

"Well, you don't exactly know him now, do you?" There was a hint of accusation in Tommy's voice but they were both determined to avoid repeating the previous argument. Circular arguing was the last thing they needed.

"Maybe I'd like to," Jason answered, "It's been a long time but I'm sure he's still under there, somewhere, just waiting for the right moment to resurface."

"A bit like I'm sure there's still the protective guy in red who put the safety and feelings of his friends before all else is under that bravado somewhere?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah," Jason breathed quietly, his confidence faulting for just a second, "Just like that. Maybe in the way he still keeps himself close to me, if not quite as close before. Maybe in the way he wanted me here to prove just how far he's come, yet how much he still feels he needs my help since he can't quite kick my ass yet."

"Oh, I so can kick your ass," Tommy told him, moving in close.

"Then prove it!" Jason told him, moving quickly to turn and pin the slimmer man to the iron railings of the balcony, "I'm ashamed, you're letting your guard down."

"Am I?" Tommy asked with a slight smirk on his face, "Or am I right where I want to be?"

Jason couldn't help a reflexive smirk in return, "Interesting question. How do I go about finding the answer?"

"Hmm," Tommy looked up thoughtfully as if feigning thought, "Try sticking around this time then maybe you'll find out whether I'm happy where I am."

Jason let out a sigh and retreated back a half step, weary of what was coming next, "You know I can't apologise enough for that, right?"

Tommy's knuckles went white as he gripped the railing tighter behind him, "I know, but it still hurts and it's gunna take a while before I can get over that. An apology don't just make it all miraculously better, ya know? It don't just magically fall away when you say you're sorry. It takes time. Time which can either be spent sticking around to see how it works out, or running way from it all again!"

"I know and…"

"Don't!" Tommy interrupted, flailing angrily at him, "Don't say it again, not unless you really mean. I can't listen to all these apologies and just have you walk back no out of here again… and don't make some wise crack about getting to your room again. We both know what I mean." He did his best to keep his voice from breaking but he wasn't sure he succeeded.

Jason took a few steps forward and pulled Tommy in close to his body as the other man began to break down for the first time. He knew it would happen eventually, it was what Tommy had needed. The least he could do was be there and hold him through it just like he did that boy in the baggy clothes back in high school.

"It's okay. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm not leaving again, I swear," He murmured quietly into Tommy's hair as he rocked him gently against his chest. After a few moments Tommy's sobbing seemed to dwindle away to embarrassed sniffling.

"You – you jerk!" He mumbled into Jason's chest causing the taller man to chuckle lightly and tighten his gip around him.

"Yeah, I know, but you still love me anyway." He answered, stroking a hand through Tommy's short and spiky hair.

Tommy stiffened slightly in the embrace and Jason strained to here what muffled response got lost in his chest. "What did you say?" Tommy just shook his head, refusing to repeat himself. Jason could feel the blush heating Tommy's face through his now damp red shirt. "Come on, what did you say?"

Tommy attempted to pull away but Jason kept a tight hold of him, forcing Tommy to look up at him. He sighed lightly, "I said: Yeah, I do. Now will you let me go?"

"No." Jason told him simply.

"Huh?"

"I. Said. No." Jason enunciated slowly.

"Why?" Tommy looked around bemused.

"Because, I figured out the answer to your question." He answered.

"Again, huh? What question?" Tommy asked, now seriously confused. Damn Jason, he always managed to throw him for six.

Jason smiled slowly, "You're right where you want to be, that's why I'm not letting go. Not anymore. No more running away, me or you."

Tommy visibly gulped his nervousness away to no avail, "Look… I, w-well – I, erm…" He trailed off looking down again, unable to maintain eye contact with Jason. He was starting to feel very uncomfortable and hyperaware of being pressed up tightly against his best friend. He was the Ultimate Ranger for heaven's sake, yet his one man, the only person he ever let truly close, was the one who could make him feel like the most nervous person around. Maybe it was all because he took away the need to be responsible for everything, without the responsibility Tommy was without the confident front.

It was Jason who moved first. He grasped Tommy's chin lightly, tipping it up to look at him. He hoped he wasn't reading this all wrong. If he was he was about to be making a huge mistake. Then again, Tommy hadn't made good on his threats and thrown him off the balcony yet so chances are he was making the right decision. More likely than not if he didn't act he'd get throw off the balcony than he did.

Lightly he brushed his lips across Tommy's before pulling away to gauge his reaction. Well, no shoving away, good sign. No punch, better sign. No look of hatred or a knee in the groin, even better sign. Leaning back in, probably the best sign.

Jason pressed another small, tentative kiss on Tommy's lips before pulling away again to check for sure that this was the right idea, "You, you're not freaking out about this, that mean you're okay? I was right? This is what you want?"

Tommy just nodded and leaned back in for another kiss but Jason pulled back eliciting a frustrated moan from the younger boy, "Pushy aren't you? Should've known you were one for the physical contact."

Jason and Tommy both laughed slightly at this and once again Tommy reached in for another kiss, only to be disappointed again. "What now?" He was not pouting, no matter how many times Jason would insist and tease him later, he knew best. He was not pouting.

"Look," Jason began seriously, "We've been best friends for years and I'm not going to mess that up for one night. So, if you're just doing this 'cause you're stressed and pissed off then I can't stay. So, is this just your way of celebrating another mission and then getting all awkward when I don't walk away again, or, does it mean you really want me to stick around?"

Tommy look thoughtful for a moment before a slow smile spread across his face, "Bit of both," he answered truthfully as Jason's eyebrows shot up, "I mean, no, it's not going to be awkward but yes, I want you to stay an yes, it's a very good way of celebrating another successful mission – don't you think?"

Jason just laughed and bent down for another kiss. "Finally!" Exclaimed Tommy.

The lips under Jason's were soft yet firm. They held that position for a few moments before they yielded under him, giving him entry to the cavern he sought. They'd both waited too long for this to continue with their hesitancy but instead enjoyed a slow adventure of discovery. They enticed each other backwards and forwards, charming reactions, learning what could be brought to the surface through tender touches and coaxing caresses.

Tommy's hands slid slowly up Jason's back, bunching his shirt. Fingertips traced slowly over the newly discovered, heated skin. The warmth seeped through him as he slowly flattened his palm against the plain of rippling muscles, a well of power hidden under tender skin. He wanted to touch as much as possible but was in no hurry to do so. He could be content to just stand out here in the moonlight trading kisses and caresses as long as it allowed him to be this close to Jason.

Jason shivered as he felt the cool night air hitting his exposed skin but was instantly warmed by the placing of Tommy's hand over the area. He revelled in the contact which assured him that all was right with the world; with _their_ world. He tangled one hand in the small hairs at the base of Tommy's head, still unused to the shortness but not adverse to his lover's new look.

_Lover_. He rolled the word around in his head and smiled inwardly as that was what they were, lovers, well, to him they were, and to anyone else who wanted to disrepute it, they soon enough would be.

He ghosted his other hand down across the nape of Tommy's neck, lightly brushing over a shoulder, learning the curves of lean biceps before settling on his waist. His mind was full with thoughts as he mapped out the contours of the body wrapped up in his arms. One main thought being, mine, it repeated itself over and over in his mind as he kissed more deeply. With each renewed meeting of lips it replayed in his head, each time a little louder than before. He had to control himself not to speak the words out loud. Then, after much consideration, he thought, to hell with it.

At the next small break of their lips Jason stopped, mere millimetres away from Tommy. "Mine," he murmured, leaning back in again, biting lightly at Tommy's red, kiss-swollen lips. He moved his tender caresses downwards, along a firm jaw line that rasped lightly with an ever so enticing five o'clock shadow.

Tommy took a sharp intake of breath at the words. He felt, possessed, owned. Most people would tell him he was stupid, that no-one should feel that way, that Jason didn't own him, he was his own person. But that wasn't true. He _was_ Jason's. Just as Jason is his. They belonged to each other, he realised, it wasn't about dominance or claiming in that right, it was about having each other, claiming the other's love, not their being. Yes, they belonged to each other, they belonged together.

Tommy reached out, moaning slightly as Jason's tongue continued it's lapping journey down his neck, and nipped lightly at the ear in front of him, "And you're mine," he husked, sending another wave of shivers through Jason, though, this time, they weren't brought fourth by the cold but something all together different.

Slowly Jason pulled back, peeling himself away from Tommy's skin. He kept his arms firmly around the other's waist, hands skimming the waistline of his jeans, fingers splayed territorially across as much skin as he could reach. Breathing rapidly he lent in and just pressed his forehead to Tommy's, simply holding him. They stood that way, melded together, simply being, for a long time that night.

After what may have been hours or just mere minutes Tommy placed a chaste kiss against Jason's lips and disentangled himself from the grip. Immediately Jason's heart began to pound and blood rushed to his ears. Tommy couldn't be changing his mind now, could he, he did kiss him after all. That was a god sign. A sign that indicated he wasn't about to follow Jason's previous examples and walk out. So why the hell was Jason freaking out internally?

Tommy just smiled knowingly and slipped his hand into Jason's slowly guiding, half pulling, him back into the warmth of the hotel room, "Too cold to stay out there all night." He murmured as Jason came up behind him, wrapping his arms back round his waist whilst he kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Tommy stood there fore a moment before turning round in the embrace to face the other. Wordlessly he gripped Jason's arms just above the elbow, firmly locking his arms in place as he made a few steps backwards. After what seemed like an eternity of just having Jason watch him his legs finally hit the bed, buckling at the knees they collapsed backwards. Jason landing squarely on top of Tommy as they bounced slightly on the bed.

Moving his hands to either side of Tommy's head, Jason levered himself up slightly, allowing Tommy breathing room. "Please," He whispered hoarsely, "Tell me now if you even have the slightest of doubts about this…"

His words came in such a pleading tone Tommy almost caved in and gave him what he wanted. Retribution for leaving him all those times in the past. The silent 'doubts about me' was heard louder than any words Jason could have murmured to him at that intimate moment. He shook his head softly, "I have doubts," His words were soft, his breath tantalizingly tormenting Jason's heated, sensitized skin, "And so do you. We all doubt, you taught me that, but we can trust as well. And I trust you. Explicitly."

Jason nodded silently. Tommy was right, the guy was always right, Jason knew that. Jason had known what he would say before he said it, but it still surprised him and he found himself needing to hear it. Sometimes it was just easier to believe the things others told you rather than what you told yourself.

He lent down to the man pinned beneath him, revelling in the surge of power he felt being radiated form beneath him. The feeling of equality passing between them as the traded tender touches and heart-stopping kisses. Their moments grew in passion but still there remained a languid sensation about them. They were in no rush, it may have taken them a while to get here but now, with all imminent threats diminished and all misunderstandings thoroughly cleared away, they had all the time in the world.


End file.
